Well, I suppose that by the age of 3 every child has established that boys and girls are inherently different. This awareness continues to grow, and grow... and I suppose it probably never stops growing. But this awareness takes an exploding leap when we enter the dating or courting scene (mid-teens) and then when we start looking for a husband or wife- between the ages of 18 and 23, let's say.

 

It's also inescapably clear when you're in a relationship. Throughout much reading (and confirming with Andre) I've continually been blown away by the differences in the ways girl and guys are wired.

 

The particular issue I want to address today- which stems from the differences in our wiring and our lack of understanding of these differences- is how girls treat guys who are friends and who they really like- but not in "that" way.

 

Let me first say, girls, that the idea of liking a guy (but not in "that" way) is completely foreign to the male species. Take for example the "I want to be friends first" spiel. If you've never used it yourself, you most likely know someone who has, or have at least heard of it. A guy asks a girl out, she is unprepared for such an idea and says "I want to be friends first". A guy sees this as a gentle let down. Code for "I only ever want to be friends". Sometimes this is true. But other times, the girl really wants to become friends with the guy before going out with him. I was talking to Andre about this, and I mentioned the idea that "I want to be friends first" isn't necessarily completely rejecting the guy. His response? "It isn't??"

 

It's much like a conversation I had with another friend the other day.

 

 me: lol... Andre and I were talking about this the other day

The idea of being friends without an interest in anything more is completely foreign to men.

 

It often happens much like this: a girl and guy are great friends. They can talk with each other easily, are open and honest with each other, spend a lot of time together, and basically enjoy each other's company. To a girl, this sounds like a normal friendship with guy she's close with. To a guy, this sounds like he's in the "dateable" books with this girl. Which leads us to the different wiring between guys and girls.

 

So, let me introduce you to The Ladder Theory.

 

First, let me say I didn't come up with the Ladder theory. It was established years and years ago. It goes something like this.

Girls have two ladders- a "Friends" ladder and a "Good" (dateable, marriable) ladder. Guys have only one ladder- a "Good" ladder. All his female friends are on it. In other words, a guy views all of his female friends as potential partners (girlfriend, wife, etc.) Keep in mind this is outside of moral standards- eg. morality would keep a guy (usually) from acting upon his view of a married woman being potential partner material.

 

Girls, on the other hand, have their male friends on two ladders. Those they see as potential husbands are on the "Good" ladder, while they have normal friends- who are on the "Friends" ladder. But the problem is, they treat guys at the top of their friends ladder the same way as guys treat girls at the top of their only ladder-  the "Good" ladder.

 

Guys who are at the top of a girl's "friend" ladder often think they're at the top of her "good" ladder because they don't realise girls have 2 ladders. She talks to them a lot, spends time with them, really enjoys their company- signs that they show with a girl who is at the top of their "good" ladder. But they don't realise that it's also how girls treat guys not only on their "good" ladder, but at the top of their "friends" ladder.

 

This means a guy can easily misunderstand a girl's treatment of him as a good friend to be treatment of him as a potential boyfriend or husband.

 

Now, I'm not blaming girls for this. Guys and girls are both just as oblivious to the other gender's inner workings as the other. However, sometimes a guy will try to jump from the Friends ladder to the Good ladder- a move that usually ends in disaster for him. Girls, when a guy who you saw simply as a friend expresses his interest in you and you turn him down, do him a favour. Try to lessen the amount of closeness and familiarity the two of you share. Because the closeness you are sharing with him, as a friend, is sending him into confusion because you have just turned him down.

 

So guys, as hard as it is, try not to read too much into the actions of the girls you're interested in. While you may be on their "Good" ladder, you may also simply be at the top of the "Friends" ladder. And girls, be considerate to the fact that guys think if they're your friend, you're obviously interested in them!! And if you know you're at the top of their Ladder and you've turned them down, then do them a favour by trying not to sustain the closeness and familiarity between the two of you. And hopefully relationships between guys and girls will be somewhat easier to interpret by both parties.

 

If you're still just as confused, or I've provoked more questions, or you just don't understand certain bits, please leave a comment or question.

 

----------------------------------------

 

I once did a quiz "What sort of Christian are you". I decided to take it again to see how much I'd changed.

 

You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God's Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die.

Reformed Evangelical 86% Fundamentalist 82% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 75% Emergent/Postmodern 68% Neo orthodox 61% Classical Liberal 43% Roman Catholic 29% Charismatic/Pentecostal 25% Modern Liberal 18% May last year: Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 82% Reformed Evangelical 82% Neo orthodox 68% Fundamentalist 61% Emergent/Postmodern 57% Classical Liberal 36% Roman Catholic 29% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Modern Liberal 11% Lol... looks like I have become more reformed (apparently :P I'm taking this tongue-in-cheek). I wouldn't have guessed that o.O

Ok, so by now everyone is quite familiar with Sheikh al-Halali's comments about Muslim immigrants being more "Australian" than those who were descended from convicts. So, at the request of Katie, I'm going to vocalise (or at least publish) my disdainful opinion of the incident.

 

This was his original comment...

 

He proceeded to lay part of the blame for 9/11 on Australia for the lengthy sentences given to Sydney's Lebanese gang rapists.

 

I have a hard time comprehending this guy. (I almost called him a 'bloke', but in my opinion, that's too Australian a term for him. He doesn't deserve it.) In my opinion, a family who has been in a country for 200 years has a lot more right to be there than someone who paid their way over here 5 years ago. I mean, think about it. If it weren't for the convicts brought over here, the place wouldn't have been settled. It was the convicts (who a majority of, I will point out, were unfairly convicted and transported) who built the initial colony, cultivated the land, and who went on to buy freedom, freehold land, and settle the country. If that hadn't happened, then the Sheikh and his precious immigrants wouldn't have even HAD an Australia to immigrate to.

 

But, the fact that it was the convicts who "civilised" Australia aside, the Sheikh hasn't even gotten all his facts right. He claims that all anglo-saxons who arrived in Australia "arrived in shackles". I wonder what Governor Philip would have to say about that. And what of the Indian, Maori, Chinese and Caribbean convicts who were transported to Australia? Yes, convicts were brought not only from Great Britain, but from England's other outposts across the world. What of their right to be in Australia? Or perhaps the Sheikh would like to go back in time and tell Governor Lachlan Macquarie that some Middle Eastern Muslims who would pay their way into Australia in 200 years' time have more right to be in the country whose colonisation he was toiling over than his own descendants? I think the Sheikh himself would have been put in shackles for doing that. And does the Sheikh have no knowledge of those English people who paid their way into Australia 200 years ago? Or those Anglo-saxons who paid to flee from the revolutions in France and Germany? And what about the women who were forced to come to Australia to populate the colony because there were too many men compared to women here? What an insult to their misery that they be told they have less right to this country than the Sheikh. And what about Hume, Sturt, Blaxland, Wentworth, Lawson, Burke & Wills? Seven (non-convict) Anglo-saxons whose exploration of Australia is very much celebrated today. Is the Sheikh saying he has more right to be in Australia than them? Well, I can tell you who, out of Sheikh al-Halali and Charles Sturt, I'd rather to have had in Australia.

 

I'd also like to know who the Sheikh is referring to when he says "we" ("We paid for passports from our own pockets.") Because if he's referring to Muslims- I have news for you, buddy. Do the terms "Woomera", "Tampa" or "Villawood" mean anything to you? Yes, it's because they're all in relation to illegal immigrants- many of whom are Muslim. Illegal immigrants are those who have not paid and gone through correct procedures to get into Australia. Now, what were you saying about "we paid for passports from our own pockets"?? 

 

Now, facts aside, think about the sheer ridiculousness of the idea that people who pay their way into Australia have more right to be here than those who founded the country. Convicts were forced to come to Australia, but once they were freed (yes, Sheikh al-Halali, they were free people) they chose to stay here and work themselves an awful lot harder than the Sheikh ever has at establishing a successful colony and, consequently, country. I wouldn't be able to cover all the freed convicts who made substantial contributions to the colonisation of various parts of Australia if I sat at the computer all night. Australia was literally built by the hands of convicts. If those who built a nation don't have the right to be here, nobody does, especially someone from a completely different part of the world who despises those who built that nation. John Howard said (of the Sheikh's comments) "It will bring a wry smile to the face of many Australians who sort of don't actually feel the least bit offended that many of our ancestors came here as convicts." Well I can tell you, I wouldn't say that about myself- I'd say I most definitely DON'T feel offended that my ancestors came here as convicts, I'm proud of it!

 

Can you imagine for a moment what would have happened if the Sheikh had made these comments about the US? The US was used as a convict colony too (although I don't believe that was the primary reason for settling it).

 

Oh, another point. The Sheikh said that "the anglo-saxons who arrived in Australia arrived in shackles". We have established that yes this is true. We have also established that the Sheikh was wrong in saying this, because many anglo-saxons paid their way here too. But realise, will you, that probably ALL of today's anglo-saxon Australians are not descended solely from convicts. I mean, consider those who have been here for 7 generations perhaps. (I don't know if 7 generations is a good estimate for the 230ish years Australia has been settled). That means a seventh generation Australian would have 64 first-generation Australian ancestors. Even taking into account that some of their ancestors may have come to Australia only 2 or 3 generations ago, this leaves a seventh generation Australian with in excess of 40 first-generation ancestors. What are the chances that all 40 were convicts? I would dare to say that every single Anglo-saxon Australian has non-convict first-generation Australian ancestors. Therefore, by the Sheikh's own declaration, there are no Anglo-saxon Australians who fall wholely under his implied category of "convict Australian".

 

More could be said about the injustice of the Sheikh making such racially discriminating comments and getting away with it while the two Dannys (Pastors Danny Nalliah and Daniel Scot http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Nalliah) went to court for supposed "religious vilification" (which they didn't commit), but I won't comment on that. I'll just leave you with what I think is one of the most brilliant comments on Sheikh al-Halali, said by a reader of The Australian, Ted Porter (Crows Nest, NSW)- "Why doesn’t the media simply ignore the rantings of this dingbat Hilali? Demonstrably, the man is an idiot."

 

Hey hey, just letting you know I'm alive and a lot healthier than I was last week :P I still have a cold though, and my ears are still doing funny things. (Like randomly changing pressure, it used to be only when I blew my nose but now it does it at random times, not to mention it hurts too...)

 

My family is going away this weekend (up to Possum Valley on the Atherton Tablelands), leaving me on my lonesome :( It'll be the first time I've ever had the house to myself. Friday afternoon I'm going to a wedding (a friend of Andre's), then to the Young Adults BBQ afterwards, then to the wedding reception after THAT... somehow have to keep my dress clean along the way!! Then on Saturday night I have Andre's 21st party.

 

This week was our church's Kids Holiday Bible Club. It was good fun, even if I did have a cold. I took a group of grade 7 girls. It wasn't a lot of work- running the study was probably the most work, then I had to follow my group around- to craft (pretty easy, I could do my own if I wanted and help kids) then to games. Two days it rained so games were inside the church. Luckily I didn't have to play, I could sit and watch and tell kids off when they were playing up, and take photos if my sister (the official photographer, and being in grade 8, closer to the kids' ages) wanted to participate. I wasn't looking forward to cleaning up on Wednesday (the last day) as I wasn't feeling well and thought it would take forever, and there was a LOT of dismantling to do. (We had a very big construction-yard type set up at the front as the theme was "Under Construction".) However many hands make light work and all the dismantling, rearranging of pews and cleaning was done by 1- and Holiday Club only finished at 12:30!! We then had a relaxing afternoon at the Browns'- the kids went swimming and the adults stayed inside and talked :P

 

Today is the first night I've been home since last week. Sunday night I had church, Monday night was a CU informal exec meeting, Tuesday was SCUM (Summer Christian Union Meetings), Wednesday I had dinner at Chiara's. That was fun. It was me, Andre, Carl, Marty, Chiara and Eve. Chiara made us a wonderful roast dinner with chocolate mousse for dessert (THANKS CHIARA!!!!), and we had Rose Sparkling Mason (yum). We watched two DVDs, "Fearless" and "Finding Nemo" :D

 

Anyway I'd better be off. I actually wanted to do some cleaning this afternoon... seeing as it's 7pm I'm running out of time and I daresay dinner will be soon :P Not to mention I will probably have to wash up. Our dishwasher died on Monday morning and I've missed out on washing up all week seeing as I've been out every night.

 

Ok well everyone have a good long weekend! And hopefully I will update towards the end of the weekend, or early next week. The kids have to go back to school on Monday :D :P

 

 

:( Yes, I'm sick. I have a horrible cold, which has resulted in congested lungs (and I just finished the last of our decongestant), a runny nose (the Sudafed hasn't kicked in yet either), a throbbing headache, the backs of my jaws are sore, my throat is sore, and inside my ears are sore... they feel like there's a build up of pressure, like when you go into higher altitudes and your ears haven't popped yet. Know that feeling? Yeah. They feel like that. Except they can't pop. It's very uncomfortable and kinda painful sometimes :(

 

I'm sorry I haven't done that rant yet Katie... I'm feeling kinda crap so I'll do it later :(

 

For now... I will go and sleep. :( Bye byes....

The Squirrel & The Grasshopper

REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well-fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The ABC shows up (National Television Company) to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of Australia demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda (an area of Melbourne with a strong ethnic community) with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Bill Shorten (Radical Union Ratbag) rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes (Television reporter with a far left view of life) that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed.
He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug "Illness".

The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment since arrival in Australia.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10,000,000.00 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.
They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million dollars each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Australia.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END

Rated PG :P Censorship has been exercised.

 

----------

 

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your password, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

 

----------

 

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh s***!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

 

----------

 

< robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
< bawss> Right click.

 

----------

 

<DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell

 

----------

 

<_kr4m3r> so many f***ing criminals, its crap
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

 

----------

 

<MasterG> .....................................................................
          ..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?

 

----------

 

<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

 

----------

 

<Oceandream9>  On another note, they should create a word that means having the urge to cuddle.
<Oceandream9>  Yeah, there's cuddly, but that's more of an adjective. I want the actual yearning to cuddle to become a word.
<Oceandream9>  Can anybody think of one?
<Combat_taco>  cundry
<Thunder_cunt>  Cuddlesome?
<Unpleasantries>  snugglish
<Sm0t>  “FEMALE”

 

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<chaz> I had to recompile our software to pick up the new libraries etc
<chaz> we then hit an issue with connectivity to the database server
<chaz> but thats what i fixed (i hope) this morning, so we'll see :)
* Twitch crosses her fingers for you
<chaz> my apologies, I didn't realise you were female.
<chaz> I should turn my geek off. :/
<Twitch> I'm in Physics, don't bother

 

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<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back"

 

----------

 

<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden

 

----------

 

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

 

----------

 

<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"

 

----------

 

<Dogan> GUYS, STORY TIME
<Dogan> So my teacher's friend's friend or something
<Dogan> She was dogsitting one day
<Dogan> Shows up the first time, finds the dog dead on the floor, right?
<Nightryde> how embarrassing
<Dogan> SO she's gotta pack the dog corpse up and take it to the vet so they can dispose of it or whatever
<Dogan> She can't find anything to fit it in, so she stuffs it in a freaking SUITCASE
<Dogan> She didn't have a car so she has to take the train through Chicago
<Zeelot> oh mannnn
<Dogan> This guy helps her carry the case on and is like
<Dogan> "this is pretty heavy, what's in it?"
<Dogan> lady replies "just some computer things"
<Dogan> the guy SOCKS HER IN THE FACE AND RUNS OFF WITH THE CASE
<Nightryde> AHAHAHA HOW would you pawn that sort of thing???